@sageboggs: "OH MY SWEET GOD BE CAREFUL. OH- OH MY DEAr LORD GOD. HOW? HOW??" -me watching gymnastics
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@rockymomax: [date] ME: do you have kids or pets? HER: a son and a cat ME: what are their names? HER: John & Batman ME: nice! my son is also named Batman
@RobDenBleyker: This Independence Day please remember that fireworks are not a toy, they are meant to be aimed at the nearest British ship.
@the_moonface: I touch myself when I think of you. It's not what you're thinking, I'm mostly scratching my head wondering what I saw in you.
@SamTR7: I just got an email offering "free bible verses". You know, because who can afford bible verses?