@sageboggs: "OH MY SWEET GOD BE CAREFUL. OH- OH MY DEAr LORD GOD. HOW? HOW??" -me watching gymnastics
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@DrDogMD: DR DOG: Please remove your shoes & step on the scale PATIENT: Ok DR DOG: I'll be right back *carries the shoes out of the room in his mouth*
@Dutch_50: Pretty certain the day I die my body will be found tangled in Saran Wrap with an untouched sandwich on the counter.