@lynnbixenspan: Oh no I just accidentally did everything wrong all my life
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@primawesome: Tommy Lee Jones always looks like his son just told him he wants to ride unicycles professionally.
@KyleMcDowell86: "Wanna see videos from my vacation?" *shows home video of me eating a raccoon under a bridge "This is the wrong video" "No this is right"
@joeldanger: My grandparents worked hard to make sure their kids had everything and I'm working hard and not having kids to make sure I keep everything.