@lynnbixenspan: Oh no I just accidentally did everything wrong all my life
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@Sickayduh: [England 1320] "Dearest fair lady, thou art the finest in the land. Allow me to gaze upon thee soon. My love grows." *waits 6 months* "K"
@DillDoes: Being a worm must great. Its like "wow that dirt was great I hope there's more" and there always is
@Xoolun: My wife said she wants to be treated like gold on her birthday. Apparently, locking her in the safe wasn't what she had in mind.
@AbbyHasIssues: I try to find the good in every situation. Wait. That was a typo. I meant “food.” I try to find the food in every situation.