@rzarosco: Oh that's neat so you're a Cancer? Wait...astrologically or to society?
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@BlondAmbitionTO: Why do people leave mattresses on the side of the road? Do they really think someone will take it? Do you think I should wash it first?
@notacroc: [Preschool] Teacher: aw what's this little guy's name? [Simultaneously] Me: laser panther Wife: Jacob
@WineMummy: Sorry I had sex with your hot gardener, but in my defense, you did say that I needed Jesus in me.