@Rlpihl: Oh yeah I was in a gang in high school! Well not like a real gang, it was more of a Trigonometry Club. But we still flashed sines.
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@Schmoodles: It's easier to travel back in time and stop yourself from being born than it is to delete your Facebook account.
@jordan_stratton: *coworker walks into bathroom, triggering the motion sensor that turns the lights on* ME: [from one of the stalls] Welcome.
@ShaeAaron: My bra is off, my pajamas are on, my hair is up. I'm not sure if I'm going to bed, or to Walmart.