@SortaBad: Oh, you love me? Name three of my recent emotional breakdowns
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@VerifiedDrunk: 2 Beers = 1 Tweet 5 Beers = 3 Tweets 9 Beers = 7 Tweets 12 Beers = 12 Tweets 24 Teers = 30 Beets
@eminmien: WAITRESS: Let me clear this up for you. ME: Thanks. WAITRESS: [to my date] He's not ready for anything serious right now.