@shutupmikeginn: "Oh, you're left handed?" - people who see me writing with my left hand, curious if I'm just doing it for show
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@Carbosly: Gluten-free, low salt, no sugar all-natural whole grain bread? The only thing "natural" about this product is the urge to get away from it.
@Reverend_Scott: WIFE: this year, can you put the santa presents out for the kids christmas morning? GUY WHO NEVER FOUND OUT SANTA CLAUS ISN'T REAL: what
@CulturedRuffian: I SCREAM, YOU SCREAM, WE ALL SCREAM, BECAUSE GRANDPA FORGOT TO WEAR HIS HEARING AIDS AGAIN!