@fillthevacuum: "Ohhh, that's what you meant by period sex" I say, removing my powdered wig and waistcoat.
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@GensPlace: Online dating has its good points. You can choose your own name, lie through your teeth and you can't smell their breath.
@mortimermaiden: I was caught in a nuclear reactor with a jar of spiders in my pocket, so now I'm half man, half jar.
@TheDairylandDon: Started playing with the self-retracting cord on my vacuum to find out how much weight it can pull; long story short, I'm Batman now.