@brunopieroni: "Ok, guys, before you start calling me a pervert, let me just say I found a great source of protein." — The first guy who ever milked a cow.
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@bobsin: Paranoid? Nope. I'm just trying not to crash in case someone has replaced the airbag in my car with a boxing glove on a spring.
@HeyZeus666: At my age, my biggest fantasy is to sleep through the night without having to pee every two hours.
@Biraahwa: Friend: Do you have a bird problem? Me: No. Friend: Why is there a scare crow in your compound. Me: Oh that? That's for people.
@AndrewNadeau0: BEAR JESUS: *Emerges from cave after 3 days* EVERYONE ELSE: This… this is not as impressive.