@mattZillaaaa: Old people like to get up at 4am so they can go sit in chairs and fall back asleep
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@zachreinert03: Slasher films are so unrealistic. Anyone could out run a guy walking with a chainsaw. That's why I train running with a chainsaw.
@dafloydsta: [job interview] "Any weaknesses?" I pick fights for no reason "Can you explain?" *leans in way too close* Are we gonna have a problem?
@GinAndJif: When animals lick each other it's bonding, but when I do it at work as part of a team building exercise it's all "inappropriate" & "call HR"