@mattZillaaaa: Old people like to get up at 4am so they can go sit in chairs and fall back asleep
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@joe_binkley: (Standing next to pool with a golf club and horse) Friends: Are you sure you've played water polo before?
@TheToddWilliams: [mosquitoes] MORT: I think I'm a vampire MARV: We all love blood, Mort MORT: But I can't see myself in this mirror MARV: That's a leaf
@FilthyRichmond: People are so nosy, always asking me what I just injected into their neck. Don't worry about it!
@cloudypianos: Obama: Please don't talk to me until I've had my morning cup of Joe. Joe: no please no more. Obama: shut up Joe. *takes a sip of Joe*