@CodyJP9412: Old people that say tattoos are a waste of money: You have entire cabinets dedicated to plates that no one is allowed to use.
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@LoveNLunchmeat: When I was a kid, we jumped fences, biked without helmets & drank out of public water fountains. It was a dangerous time, full of microbes.
@moooooog35: Me: Hey, am I too wrinkly? Daughter: You're old, that's going to happen. Me: I MEANT MY SHIRT.
@byrdie_num_num: Wife and I made a deal. She gets to keep hair on her legs, and I get to keep my opinions to myself. Baby steps.
@SortaBad: Avocado Toast was invented by the Deep State as a way to suppress the economic advancement of millennials