@CodyJP9412: Old people that say tattoos are a waste of money: You have entire cabinets dedicated to plates that no one is allowed to use.
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@robdelaney: Why aren't these people with Ebola doing the ice bucket challenge? Don't they want to get better?
@RoosterMustache: *bursts into church* DONT MARRY THAT WOMAN ... Undertaker: "This is a funeral" ... OKAY WELL IT STILL HOLDS TRUE, DONT MARRY HER
@causticbob: My wife sent me an image of herself which really enticed me into coming home from work early. It was a picture of her at the airport.