@beeftweets: "Omelet you finish," -Kanyegg West
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@bridger_w: When I die, instead of being cremated or buried, I'd like my body to be thrown out of a tree onto a group of teens
@gobmentcheese: I've worked at my job for 7 years & my boss still hasn't noticed that I only give Magic 8-Ball responses to all of his questions.
@KattsDogma: "I'm sorry I named my daughter 'Paige.' It seemed funny at the time." - a confession of Nat Turner
@gtfml: When someone tells me they're a bodybuilder, I always ask "Not the Dr. Frankenstein kind, right?" because you can never be too careful.