@beeftweets: "Omelet you finish," -Kanyegg West
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@fart: the real reason you shouldn’t flush condoms is the fish get caught in them and it makes the fishermen laugh so hard they fall off the boat
@GrumpyBahr: Dr: I need a urine and stool sample. Me: *hands him my underwear* Dr:...... Me: Its all there.
@HorryPuttor: "Your password is weak" You're the weak one And you'll never know love Or friendship And I feel sorry for you