@VaguelyFunnyDan: OMG guys just watched the news and those "COEXIST" bumper stickers totally aren't working :/
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@iGreenMonk: They tried it standing up, sitting down and bent over the kitchen table but it was no good - they just couldn't get a decent wi-fi signal.
@LackOfShame: Nothing's sadder than the look on my dog's face when I reach under the kitchen table to pet her and she realizes my hand is empty.
@protolalia: I only date men who have cats because they've been pre-trained to try and figure out what you want if you just stare at them long enough.