@ThugPickles: OMG! THERE'S A SERIAL KILLER ON THE LOOSE! "OMG." Wtf are you doing?! "HIDING MY DAMN CEREAL!"
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@CroweJam: Named my hamster Spam so when he dies I can bury him in a little tin coffin with his name on it.
@IrishVin: My neighbour finally confronted me about clothes missing from her washing line. I nearly shit her pants.
@michaeldean0116: A man was hospitalized with 6 plastic horses up his bum. Doctors described his condition as "stable". #manicmonday