@ThugPickles: OMG! THERE'S A SERIAL KILLER ON THE LOOSE! "OMG." Wtf are you doing?! "HIDING MY DAMN CEREAL!"
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@13spencer: A hot girl in the hallway just smiled at me, but don't worry; I yelled "I'm taken," and ran into the men's bathroom where she can't follow.
@GoldenSpirals: Why are there commentators for televised sports? We can figure out what's going on live, but can't while watching it on tv?