@AverageClo: On a scale from 1 - overweight black woman, how confident are you?
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@timdonakowski: Don’t assume Wal-Mart sells walls. Unless you want an argument about existential reality with an 85-year-old greeter.
@evilmallelis: those ads for The Heavy Blanket are all well and good but why does it stop at 25 pounds, where is the blanket that will crush me like a benevolent snake
@InternetHippo: *turns on the news* I wonder if things are getting better in the wor-- tv: AN ALLIGATOR ATE A BABY