@MavenofHonor: On hot days I always check the parking lot to make sure no one left their car windows up with an ice cream cake in there.
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@ericsshadow: ME: OMG I CAN'T BREATHE I ATE WAY TOO MUCH CALL A DOCTOR HER: do you want dessert? ME: ok, but just a small slice.
@Aspersioncast: My "Savings Account" is just several pairs of unwashed jeans on the floor that may or may not still have change in the pockets.
@bourgeoisalien: I want a bouncy house at my funeral. And I want to be in it, too. When all my friends jump, my lifeless body will bounce with them. What fun
@Jandalize: I decorate for Halloween by opening my bedroom curtains as I walk around naked. Pretty scary stuff for my neighbors.