@AllieA: On my first day of college my dad's only advice was "don't date any of your teachers!" Yeah right dad, everyone knows teachers are poor.
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@Mike_Bianchi: My band is so indie we don't even record together. You have to buy 4 separate cds and play them at the same time.
@iwearaonesie: *pulls curtain back while wife is in the shower* me: Are we - stop screaming, it's just me- are we out of Cheetos?
@theblowout: my interventions would be so much more effective if every single reason i drink wasn't there