@Brentweets: On my tax form I checked the single box but added "and looking".
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@thatUPSdude: Boss: Are you done with those reports yet? Me: Can you stop hovering over me? Boss: Sorry [turns off jetpack] Me: Much better.
@AndrewChamings: 2015: I can't believe people think the dress is blue and black 2016: I hope the human race doesn't destroy itself forever in violent chaos
@TheMichaelRock: It's sad that we live in a world where we'll add a word to the dictionary if stupid people use it enough.
@trevso_electric: Filming my own version of "Taken" using cats. My cat will play Liam Neeson and the red dot from a laser pointer is his daughter.