@TheTweetOfGod: On one hand, eating meat is bad for your body, bad for animals and bad for the earth. On the other hand, bacon.
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@mean_spice: Teacher: welcome to health class Me: my friend said you can get a girl pregnant by kissing her? Teacher: sir please just mop the floor
@Mr_Kapowski: 7 y/o daughter: Dad, do trees poop? Me: Of course! 7 y/o: Really? Me: Why do you think they call them "Number 2" pencils?