@sophied40: On the bright side you only need one more brain cell and you could pass as a plant
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: The sign at this gas station says "turn engine off" so I catcalled my engine and its cute friend from across the street.
@SondraDeeMe: [party] ME: You're out of shrimp. HOST: That was fast. I'll get more. BF: Where are your manners? ME: Under the heap of shrimp in my purse.
@SuperTeeWhy: Ouija board just told me it's still waiting on a grandbaby and I was like lol Mom when did you die
@bees_wingz: Just removed my bra, whipped it around my head, and tried to toss it away, but a hook got caught in my hair. Available for bachelor parties.