@NotthatAdamWest: On this day in 1969, the 1st episode of Scooby Doo appeared on TV, beginning a golden age of teenagers getting high in the back of vans.
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@WigCannon: What if the missing plane is still up there? "What?" Did you check the sky? "No." See, this is why you'll never advance, Kevin.
@Schmoodles: Don't talk to me about your drinking problems until you've tried to make your cat wear your contact lenses because he looked a bit squinty.
@Try2StopME: Hockey is more enjoyable if you pretend they're fighting over the world's last Oreo.