@nice_mustard: *on time travel bus* oh you're going back to kill hitler? uh yeah totally, me too *pulls jacket over spice girls world tour '98 t shirt*
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@jazmasta: Maybe the reason that goats are so angry is because they don't have hands to stroke those magnificent beards with while pondering quandaries
@Reverend_Scott: Batman: Introducing, the Robinmobile. Robin: I'm so excited! *curtain opens* Robin: Bruce, that's a car bed... Batman: You're welcome.
@petemandik: My first sexual experience occurred in the early 1800s when I was erotically swallowed by a whale.
@Social_Mime: When I want to trim down my friend's list on FB I give my opinion and let nature do the rest.