@nice_mustard: *on time travel bus* oh you're going back to kill hitler? uh yeah totally, me too *pulls jacket over spice girls world tour '98 t shirt*
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@TheCatWhisprer: MAN: [after being mauled by a bear] oh it's just a scratch MAN: [with a cold] omg i can't breathe i think i'm dying
@ThaJawn: Werewolf's wife: IDGAF! It's a full moon tonight and I will not have you shedding all over! Outside, now!
@LoveNLunchmeat: Well kids, when a man and woman love each other very much, he erects a monument for her, but in his pants.