@OhNoSheTwitnt: On your first day as a new parent, walk up to your baby and cry louder than it to assert your dominance.
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@TheAlexNevil: Me: It's time for your nap. 6: I don't wanna take a nap!! M: First off, don't talk back to me. Second, I was talking to me.
@Lola_Areola: Lay with me until everything crumbles and nothing but creeping ivy shields us from the incessant chatter of wandering cadavers. Bring snacks
@jonnysun: humans: wat did we ever do to deserve dogs dogs: wat horible sins were done to our ancestors for us to be subservient to the humabns