@k_lli: Once a neighbor kid asked if my dog had any nicknames & I lied & made a bunch up & now whenever I see her she asks how ‘Tree Trunk’ is doing
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@Eightinchgoat: Fun trick: Handcuff her and tell her you're taking her to 50 Shades of Grey. That way she can't escape when you go to The SpongeBob Movie.
@DillDoes: You can't spell "secret government conspiracies" without that 27th letter of the alphabet that they're hiding from us
@welltbh: why are clothes so expensive???? i should not have to pay this much to not be naked. people should pay ME to not be naked
@looktothepickle: [One week into body training] Me: GOD this is taking so long Trainer: how long were you expecting? Me: ...how long is Eye of the Tiger?