@rev_revolver: once a woman in the mall said "isn't everything cuter with babies?!" and jeff replied "not coffins" and just stared at her until she cried
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@prufrockluvsong: [returning toothpaste] Yeahhh, this didn't hold my husband's teeth together at all.
@OneToothTexan: People that drink Starbucks every morning, how do you decide which kid isn’t going to college?