@AndrewNadeau0: Once I heard a guy who climbed Everest say he did it, “Because it was there” and I just feel like the reason for undertaking one of the most strenuous feats in human existence should be different than the reason I ate an entire gallon of ice cream.
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@IamEveryDayPpl: It may look like I'm a sloppy eater but really I'm just teaching my dog about trickle-down economics...
@WritePlay: I like that in The Little Mermaid, Ariel & King Triton wouldn't violate a contractual obligation, but they murdered Ursula with a ship.
@johntabin: Contemplating the merits of the Oxford comma as I head down to Florida to see my parents, Donald Trump and Marco Rubio