@TribalSpaceCat: Once I saved 10 kittens from a burning building and yes all the people died but look how cute they are
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@ThaJawn: Dr: So, how did you dislocate your shoulder? Me: I panicked when the blood pressure machine at the store got tigh- I mean football..
@Dutch_50: Doctor: You have acute alcoholism. Me: Thanks, but let me tell you it's not very cute in the morning.
@Black__Elvis: If I had a daughter I wouldn't waste money on training bras, I'd trap wild bras and train them myself like our ancestors did.
@markydoodoo: Ever say hi to someone and immediately regret it because now you know you have to say hi to them forever?