@TribalSpaceCat: Once I saved 10 kittens from a burning building and yes all the people died but look how cute they are
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@ArfMeasures: ME: Ugh hate summer when bees are flying everywhere BEE [angrily undoing seatbelt on plane] I'm gonna sting him BEE WIFE:Just leave it David
@TheRealRHB: As my friend Joe's last wish I had him cremated and sprinkled his ashes into the coffee pots at work..all morning everyone had a cup of Joe
@caliluvgirl77: [first date] Boy: so where are you from? Me: [points to all you can eat sign] I live here now.
@tamytoo2: Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me:I'm cute? Cop: Nope Me: you like my car? Cop: Nope Me: I could do this all day.