@TheDairylandDon: Once you understand they're unwilling time travelers dropped here moments earlier, the confused actions of squirrels suddenly make sense.
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@Nocturnesthesia: Neighbor may have just called the cops after hearing me yell at the cat for stealing my cheese bread
@ibid78: "Your word is 'oujia'" -could you use that in a seance? [spelling bee judge puts hand over the mic] I think.. I think this guy just won
@fart: my dream job is to be the FBI guy who nicknames criminals. someone blew up a fish market? Tunabomber. easy.
@robfee: Dear Ninja Turtles, Why are you wearing masks? There are no other giant, mutated turtles. No one's gonna mistake a different turtle for you.