@TheDairylandDon: Once you understand they're unwilling time travelers dropped here moments earlier, the confused actions of squirrels suddenly make sense.
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@Amusitr0n: [shady nighttime meeting at the aquarium] AQUARIUM EMPLOYEE: eels are already pretty slippery man ME: shut up and help me butter them
@Chhapiness: Me: We have communication issues, trust issues and she's passive aggressive *Therapist slowly turns to the other chair and looks at the GPS*
@WhatTheFFacts: Boxer Sugar Ray dreamt of killing his opponent and backed out, but a priest convinced him to fight, he ended up killing the opponent.
@dafloydsta: HER: A man at work saved someone's life today. *flashback to me finding a dollar in the laundry* ME: I also have big news.