@LurkAtHomeMom: One alternative to having kids is to hire two people to sit in your car and start a loud argument every time your favorite song comes on.
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@KenJennings: People you mute should stay in your TL but with a piece of tape over their avatar mouth and their tweets all like "Mmmp mm mmmph rf mph."
@RidiculousSheri: The restaurant scene from When Harry Met Sally, but just me getting a pat down from airport security.
@notacroc: [Barnes and Noble] CASHIER: anything else? ME: four barns and your finest noble please CASHIER: get out