@LurkAtHomeMom: One alternative to having kids is to hire two people to sit in your car and start a loud argument every time your favorite song comes on.
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@NicestHippo: [guy who named the bedroom gets home] Honey? Our son got in trouble at the learnroom. His teacher called while I was driving in my wheelsbox
@Mr_Kapowski: Me: *falls off a ladder* Wife: OH MY GOD! ARE YOU INJURED? Me: *obviously concussed but also bleeding* I'm injured and outjured