@GreenishDuck: One day a guy named Matt banged a waitress and nine months later a mattress was born haha just messin around on this website.
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@Donna_McCoy: Just go ahead and put "She always had to pee" on my tombstone, because that's how everyone's going to remember me.
@murrman5: I sniffed my work shirt to see if it was too dirty. Unfortunately I work at a chloroform factory and woke up 6 hours late for my shift
@Moronyc: A mosquito fell into my beer five minutes ago and now he's naked and calling his ex-girlfriends and drinking my beer