@GreenishDuck: One day a guy named Matt banged a waitress and nine months later a mattress was born haha just messin around on this website.
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@Rollinintheseat: *spelling bee* "Your word is disaster." "Can you use it in a sentence?" "That outfit you're wearing looks like a natural disaster."
@Kimpulses: You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That's your common sense leaving your body.
@pplwtching: Sober me: It would be convenient to have a urinal in my house. Drunk me: A urinal! *pees in sink*