@TheWeirdWorld: One day an iPhone is going to explode, and Android people are going to be like, “Samsung has had this feature for years”.
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@crow_death: I'm going to put my limbs into each corner of a fitted sheet and attempt to become a sugar glider.
@AdviceFromDino: Asked for Cheez-its Wife buys Cheese Nips Now she's sitting in the corner thinking about what she did.
@Nikkeya08: Yoga Instructor: This is Warrior pose Me:*Sitting down, eating a cheeseburger YI: Me:*chewing I'm a Warrior who just slayed a McDonaldite