@BatmanOffDuty: One day I bet bullets will be replaced by flowers, and guns will probably be replaced by something that fires flowers with deadly force.
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@mattr_in_nc: Contrary to popular belief, tigers do not holler if you catch them by the toe. Also, could someone call an ambulance?
@ch000ch: me: wtf how am i getting life in prison for running over an eagle with my car my lawyer: again, that was the Philadelphia Eagles mascot
@ericsshadow: [anniversary dinner] HER: tell me something that will make my heart race ME: my credit card got declined