@TheTweetOfGod: One Mississippi... two Mississippi... just kidding! One Mississippi is quite enough.
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@stephenjmolloy: Wife: "How did your first day as a lifeguard go?" Me: "Amazingly well, thanks. Everyone was so friendly and waving at me."
@TheMichaelRock: Ghostbusters is my favorite movie where Bill Murray yells at a giant marshmallow man for stepping on a church.
@TwoSapphiresBlu: Going to start a band called The Subtweets. All songs will contain cryptic lyrics that incite paranoia in the crowd.