@seantgreen: One of Jesus' most impressive accomplishments was being 33 years old and still having 12 really close friends.
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@maebemarbles: Sad how some stick figures get stuck working the hangman game, while others get to have nice families on the back of SUVs
@joeljeffrey: When I make my first million, Im switching from 2 ply toilet paper to white bread.
@perlmutations: I personally endorse our president going to war with North Korea. Not our military of course, just the president.
@good_fats: forrest gump (1994): this film gave me very unrealistic expectations of what my life would be like as a huge idiot. 2/10