@seantgreen: One of Jesus' most impressive accomplishments was being 33 years old and still having 12 really close friends.
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@leahlovescheez: Why do I have to answer security questions to pay my bills? Ohmygod please tell me there are hackers out there trying to pay my bills....
@trojansauce: [dinner party] mario: what's in this risotto? me: mushroom, you're not allergic? mario: *grows to like 20 feet*
@wheresthesnacks: After all of the screaming I've done, you'd think that this roach would give it up and WANT to die.