@zachreinert03: One of my buddies lost his right arm in a car accident which is a huge bummer, so much money wasted on tattoos
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@trevso_electric: Fact: If you eat a slice of pizza fast enough, your body won't understand how many calories are in it.
@novicefather: QA Manager: And what is the protocol when an aircraft comes inbound with a suspected Ebola case? "WTF. Planes can catch this shit too?"
@Kappa_Kappa: When someone invites me to their house and I see more than 2 cars parked outside it I keep driving just in case it's an intervention for me