@zachreinert03: One of my buddies lost his right arm in a car accident which is a huge bummer, so much money wasted on tattoos
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@Piecezilla: Apologies your honor [slides ventriloquist dummy back under my seat] I was told these proceedings were going to be televised.
@MooseAllain: "Help! I can't get my jogging trousers off!" "We'll have to perform an emergency trackybottomy"
@Brianhopecomedy: Bought an ice cream cake and the cashier told me to keep it in the freezer until serving as it will melt. I gotta start dressing smarter.