@zachreinert03: One of my buddies lost his right arm in a car accident which is a huge bummer, so much money wasted on tattoos
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@GuyEndoreKaiser: People are obsessed with this storm but in ten years no one will talk about it anymore, which is why they named it after the movie Juno.
@SureYouDo1: For your anniversary, if your wife asks for something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in 3 seconds...don't get her a bathroom scale. Nope.
@Beesthegame: Man: I'd like an order of buffalo wings Bartender: sorry, we don't serve food here *a sandwich that just walked in flips a table and leaves*