@zachreinert03: One of my buddies lost his right arm in a car accident which is a huge bummer, so much money wasted on tattoos
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@capricecrane: I bet that Heimlich was just a perv who molested people from behind, and one time accidentally saved someone from choking.
@ohthatbadger: Don't forget to wear your best clothes to church because Jesus was all about one-upping your neighbour with fancier duds.
@actioncookbook: USERS: you're alienating the people who actually use your product TWITTER: likes are now florps USERS: what TWITTER: timeline goes sideways