@toastymoe: One of my co-workers just called the elevator a "vator". Anyways, long story short, this is my one phone call...
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@dave_cactus: *sitting on a seesaw for 20 minutes* …OK, there's ONE downfall to being the last human alive.
@AndrewNadeau0: Trump is opting not to have celebrities at his inauguration in the same way that I opted not to take any cheerleaders to prom.
@meganamram: Such a double standard that when a guy sleeps with a ton of people he's "cool," but when I do I'm "lying"