@DelanieFischer: One of my favorite things about Walmart: the impulse buy is no longer a breathmint, it's an entire rotisserie chicken.
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@Dawn_M_: It is completely unreasonable that family members are expecting me to remember things like what the names of their kids are. Preposterous.
@TheMichaelRock: My wife sent me to the store to buy shampoo, conditioner, lotion and condoms. I'm pretty sure the cashier thinks I'm making a girlfriend.
@WhatevaConc: Stellar hiring process HR. The new lady broke into song when being introduced to me. I give it 2 days before her first cat-related meltdown.
@VeggieMonger: Someone suggested that I try Acupuncture. I don't think adding more pricks will make a difference.