@Shower4Thought: One of the perks of being a woman is that no one can ever surprise you with a kid years later and tell you you're the mom.
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@buhsbaby_baby: Autocorrect just changed "carnie" to "catnip" and now all my friends think I slept with a bunch of catnips last night.
@LOsepyan: Ever wonder how the guy who discovered milk had to explain what he was doing to the cow?
@One_FineMess: If two people love each other nothing is impossible... Except deciding where to eat.