@solikebasically: One time a cute guy I liked mooned his friend as a prank but there was a tiny piece of toilet paper in his crack & it haunts me to this day
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@imskytrash: cop: could you please describe the man who tried to kill you me: yeah he was not nice
@KateWhineHall: I misspelled the word "camouflage" so badly that I made 6 different letter combination changes before autocorrect would even try to help me.
@DrDogMD: DR DOG: *gives kid patient a sucker* MOM: what do u say KID: thanks mr dog DD: kid I didnt go to med school for 56 years to be called Mr Dog
@Vodkantots: In some cultures, it's considered polite to scream when someone shows you their baby. I'd be considered proper there. Probably.