@sfreeze6: One time I accidentally listened to a John Mayer song & spontaneously generated 2 thumb rings before it was over.
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@SomthinBoutSara: Just came to the realization that my ten year high school reunion will be in 10 months. I have about nine days to get married and pregnant.
@iphone420s: me: better check my phone for texts from friends me: *checks phone* me: better get some friends
@TitansHomer: How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just beat the room for being black. *drops mic, gets beat by security*