@TheReal_AndyMac: One time I asked, "What would Jesus do?". That's the same day I almost drowned.
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@randomlawless: When you get to my age, your milkshake still brings boys to the yard, but they're like "I'm lactose intolerant."
@OBiiieeee: HOLD YOUR HORSES. TELL YOUR HORSES YOU LOVE THEM. DONT BE TOO STRICT WITH YOUR HORSES OR THEY'LL DATE OLDER HORSES GET TATTOOS & HAVE PONIES
@ElgatoEsmio: [An old thermometer breaks scattering mercury beads all over the floor] “Get out of here, NOW!" “Why?” “HAVEN'T U SEEN TERMINATOR 2?”