@TheReal_AndyMac: One time I asked, "What would Jesus do?". That's the same day I almost drowned.
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@richforri: "I'd kill you if I thought I could get away with it".......things that were said to me during my divorce. Hey guy's, she's available!
@Marlebean: I bring my kids to a romantic restaurant on Valentine's day as a birth control reminder to the other couples.
@Livsey1: "People want to feel special.. they'll buy sugary piss in a bottle as long as it has their name on it." - Executives at Coke
@Home_Halfway: Congrats on your new baby. I remember a night where you drank a fifth of Jim Beam and crapped yourself. Glad you're raising a child now.