@ericsshadow: One time I got fired for being too drunk. Not for being drunk. For being too drunk. I miss that place.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@HatfieldAnne: Yes, my teeth are dazzling, but, please, treat me no differently than you would the next demigod.
@AnkCoupleTO: [in bed] Her: *seductively whispering* in the mood for a midnight snack? Me: *Oreo crumbs all over my face* I'm way ahead of you
@iAmJuddy: My coworkers think it's funny they have power & I don't. I think it's funny how they won't get home to enjoy it cuz their tires are slashed.