@ericsshadow: One time I got fired for being too drunk. Not for being drunk. For being too drunk. I miss that place.
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@robdelaney: Why aren't these people with Ebola doing the ice bucket challenge? Don't they want to get better?
@NikiWithIssues: I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, blocking the tv and getting him shot on Call of Duty.
@trentistweeting: [staff meeting] PRINCIPAL: ok guys, we built a room to hold our P.E. class. what should we name it? [Jim slowly raises his hand]
@PaperWash: Commissioner: we'll need to stay in touch Batman: ok Commissioner: this stealth communication device will- Batman: LETS USE A GIANT SKY LAMP