@crushingbort: one time I saw a cop on a horse start to walk it down some steps and I thought "oh the horse is trained for stairs" and then they both fell
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@lazerdoov: I'm not saying I did terrible things last night but satan just woke up on my couch and he won't make eye contact with me.
@PoonWhisperer1: The GF goes away for 10 days, *shits going to get wild * sleeps in middle of bed
@KalvinMacleod: WORM: Why do caterpillars think they are better than us? OTHER WORM: *is drowning in a very shallow puddle*