@crushingbort: one time I saw a cop on a horse start to walk it down some steps and I thought "oh the horse is trained for stairs" and then they both fell
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@jergarl: I've never actually finished the song "Rock Your Body" by Justin Timberlake because I'm afraid I'll be naked by the end.
@grimpossible: If you fall down in public the best thing to do is stay down, use your fingernails to dig your way to another country then start a new life.
@Slim_is_Fat: (Watching Liar Liar) Wife: If you couldn't lie for 24 hrs, how much longer would we be married? Me: Until the end of this movie.
@thatUPSdude: Turns out if you fake a heart attack every Monday work sends you to HR and not the hospital.