@weedguy420boner: one time I saw a guy playing with a yoyo walk into a street sign. I laughed so hard that it changed me. It changed everything.
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@TheTweetOfGod: Journalists love covering Lindsay Lohan because what she is to actresses, they are to professions.
@Bwomono: My mom has a habit of replying my texts with NOTED Me:I love you Mom: NOTED Me:Rebels have come and abducted your husband Mom: NOTED
@pixelatedboat: Spiderman, Spiderman/ Does whatever a spider can/ Attends college/ Works as a photographer/ Just like a spider
@NJFreudian: My therapist asked me, "How would leaving twitter make you feel?" I replied by asking him, "How would switching therapists make you feel?"