@weedguy420boner: one time I saw a guy playing with a yoyo walk into a street sign. I laughed so hard that it changed me. It changed everything.
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@Mr_Kapowski: [getting ready to go out] Wife: I have nothing to wear! Me: *wearing my PE shirt from middle school* I'm ready to go
@TheSofiya: which is the Beyonce song where it's like we're independent but also you should marry us but like we're super-strong but also pay our bills