@aparnapkin: One way to handle social anxiety is to pretend you are a ghost & people are staring at you because they have a gift they never asked for
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@jilltwiss: My best guy friend and I vowed if we’re still single at 45, we def won't marry each other because who wants to marry someone no one likes?
@scubavelli: "Oh I'll be your relationship status alright..." -me sleeping outside this Taco Bell
@XplodingUnicorn: 4-year-old: What’s that? Me: A vegetable you won’t like. If you don’t tell Mom, I’ll take it from you. *eats her bacon*
@GabbbarSingh: Parliament should learn from Twitter, thousands of people shout here doing nothing productive, yet it never gets adjourned.