@birbigs: One way to tell if what you're watching isn't really news is if the person is shouting at you.
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@HoneyWooWoo: Once I get the creative juices flowing, I realize how disgusting that really sounds.
@Flattliner: I'm introducing a new calendar system: B.C. = Before Children. A.D. = After Divorce.
@SteveDutzy: Hey, we never talked in high school! Let's be Facebook friends so we can once again never talk! JUST LIKE OLD TIMES!
@TommyWallace: "Yeah I just really enjoy playing devil's avocado sometimes" Teacher: devil's advocate? Me [grabbing trident and avocado costume]: no.