@birbigs: One way to tell if what you're watching isn't really news is if the person is shouting at you.
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@TheMichaelRock: Kanye West compared his relationship with Kim Kardashian to Romeo and Juliet. So we won't have to deal with them too much longer, you guys.
@KeetPotato: "what's your most cherished memory keith?" [looks at my wife and baby in crowd with loving smile] [leans into mic] i heard a dog laugh once
@JimmerThatisAll: People who say "in and of itself" are responsible for most of the trouble in the world.