@birbigs: One way to tell if what you're watching isn't really news is if the person is shouting at you.
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@Cheeseboy22: My wife told me we need a new bathroom scale a week ago, but today she let me know that it wasn't something she wanted for Valentine's Day.
@brunopieroni: Does WebMD ever just say "you're fine, there's nothing wrong with you, go play outside you drama queen?"
@SteveKoehler22: Single and divorced men in their 40's prefer women at their own maturity level. That explains why they date women half their age.
@FunkyFresh_79: Greatest days of my life: 3) Day I got married 2) Day my first kid was born 1) Day Facebook let you turn off notifications for their games