@BetteMidler: Only 50 more days til we find out who's our next President! Last time I was nauseous 50 days straight, at least I got a baby out of it!
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@sofarrsogud: Me: Honey, I left work early to pick up the kids! Wife: But we d.. *I arrive into the kitchen with two small goats Meet Frank and Dolores
@VeganZebra: *tattoo parlor* ARTIST: What do you want? ME: Surprise me *He tattoos the word 'hiccup'* ME: Why did y- ARTIST: BOO! *the tattoo disappears*
@fabulouscop: [at doctor] can u cough for me please? *coughs* again please *coughs* i see i see. i'm afraid you have a cough