@BetteMidler: Only 50 more days til we find out who's our next President! Last time I was nauseous 50 days straight, at least I got a baby out of it!
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@MandiAtRandom: Whenever I have a panic attack, I put a brown paper bag over my mouth...and drink all the vodka inside. It seems to help
@marcia_bee: I was going to suggest Twitter to have a live Nativity scene but I think it's going to be impossible. A virgin and 3 wise men? On here?!
@stephenjmolloy: Wife: "Ian is coming over." Me: "Ian from work or Ian who is good at disguises?" Wife: "Ian- *pulls off mask* -who is good at disguises!"
@CroweJam: I wear a cape when I'm driving so if I get pulled over the cop will think I'm going somewhere to fight crime.