@_theigirl: Only in America: We have a holiday devoted to gratitude & then less than 12 hrs later beat the shit out of each other for a $10 crockpot.
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@AdderallMomma: "I'll be black" the potato dramatically announced moments before going into Sarah Connor's freezer -The Termintator
@Reverend_Scott: COP: PUT YOUR HANDS UP OCTOPUS: They're tentacles COP: OK PUT ALL 8 TENTACLES UP OCTOPUS: Two are my legs, dude COP: Just go. I give up.
@Abusitron: [coffee shop] *casually puts arm around wife* *reaches up to Free Wifi sign with a pen* *changes last "i" to an "e", draws downward arrow*
@bridger_w: OK, Gravity wasn't very realistic. First of all, and I checked this, Sandra Bullock -- not an astronaut