@prettysadmostly: *opens dating site account* prepare to be dated you pieces of shit
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@KateWhineHall: Calls for kids: Nobody responds. Gets on phone: Two kids yelling for me while fighting, the other asking what's for dinner when it's 9 am.
@Ameiam: People are always like "you're so crazy" and I'm all like "please take off the restraints, I promise I won't do it again".