@Quartzjixler: Oppenheimer at the A-Bomb test saying "Now, I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds" only me exiting the bathroom after eating Taco Bell.
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@fro_vo: Cop: i told you this land is off limits Me: oh i thought you said it was all flimits Cop: wtf are flimits Me: idk let's go look Cop: ok
@JRevard: If I ever only have 3 months to live, I want my ex to move back in. That would be the longest 3 months of my life.
@bazlyons: Turns out when you're asked who your favourite child is you're expected to pick from your own.