@Quartzjixler: Oppenheimer at the A-Bomb test saying "Now, I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds" only me exiting the bathroom after eating Taco Bell.
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@JohnnyCrash5: Getting a woman: 1.Select the woman u like 2. Lick her face 3. She is now yours take her home HAHAHAHAHAHA I've been arrested 10 times
@OhNoSheTwitnt: If Pokémon has taught me anything it's that if I see a cute animal I should force my cat to fight it until it's weak enough to enslave.
@13spencer: A hot girl in the hallway just smiled at me, but don't worry; I yelled "I'm taken," and ran into the men's bathroom where she can't follow.
@juneohara65: Examine the shadows around my eyes. They speak of loss, of longing, of doom. Also, I buy mascara at the dollar store.