@Mr_Kapowski: Orange Julius is the third best thing to happen to oranges behind mimosas and the "orange you glad I didn't say banana" knock knock joke
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@LOsepyan: If you play a NIickelback song backwards you'll hear messages from the illuminant.Even worse, if you play it forward you'll hear NIickelback
@david8hughes: [donating blood] "You're looking a little faint. Can I get you a drink?" "No thanks, I've just had like 60 of those strawberry Capri Suns."
@TheTweetOfGod: The Apple Watch may become so addictive it keeps people from looking at what's truly important in life, like their iPhones.
@joeldanger: My grandparents worked hard to make sure their kids had everything and I'm working hard and not having kids to make sure I keep everything.